When Breastfeeding Sucks
When it comes to pregnancy, there are a lot of topics to discuss but one that gets swept under the table can be the negatives of breastfeeding. One such negative is aversion: when a mother feels negative emotions towards her baby when breastfeeding and thoughts of feeling like a ‘prisoner’ or ‘violated’ while they are breastfeeding. Zainab Yate, an independent researcher and campaigner, breaks down all of the feelings, thoughts and facts related to breastfeeding in ‘When Breastfeeding Sucks’.
In this book, Yate is able to connect one-on-one with her audience and can relate to them. She brings forth facts, statistics, charts and so much more through her book. Not only is she able to connect with mothers but she speaks about different cultures, languages and she breaks down the perfect mother that was emphasised in the past. She really shows a very widespread viewpoint on breastfeeding aversion.
One of the topics that really stuck with me was when Yate first introduced aversion. I did not know much on the topic going into reading this book but I left with so much knowledge and appreciation for breastfeeding mothers everywhere. Some mothers were quoted on their experience, how it was traumatic, how they felt inadequate, how they felt like they had the feeling of being violated when their child was breastfeeding. They felt like their bodies were no longer theirs, that they had no control and they were only there to serve, which are horrible feelings for a woman to experience, let alone a mother.
Another aspect about aversion that I found fascinating was that many mothers stated that when they were breastfeeding, they felt physical pain, that they were ‘disgusted’ by the act but could not stop because they wanted to feed their child. Yate brought to the forefront the mental battle that many mothers go through when dealing with aversion and it opened my eyes. She showed how aversion can be a cruel mistress, how a mother can feel these negative emotions; it can cause stress and tension within them and their baby can sense that. And when they sense that, they begin to feel a disconnect and can become clingy, wanting to breastfeed more which causes pain to the mother.
Another thing that Yate brought up about breastfeeding was that a mother can feel feelings of aversion even when they are not physically breastfeeding their baby. Many mothers stated that they had these overwhelming feelings when they were pumping as well as having the baby suckling. It can be felt through the act of extracting milk, no matter what.
Many mothers expressed feeling like what they were feeling was wrong but Yate was able to break down those negative feelings towards it and help her audience understand that breastfeeding is a journey. Everyone experiences it differently but that doesn't mean what they are feeling is wrong and that they are not alone. Many mothers are going through the same things that they are.
Throughout her book, she breaks down the symptoms of aversion, when they typically start and how a mother can deal with those emotions through it all. She talks about the different triggers that happen in aversion, such as touch. As well as talking about what a mother can feel when she is going through aversion. How she may feel guilty or shameful for experiencing aversion. It is not only a physical experience but a mental one as well.
Yate is a very fascinating writer and the way that she is able to include biographies, real stories and loads of factual information into her books is astounding. She is not only able to talk closely with her audience but gives them information that proves they are not alone and that they will get through this. I would recommend this book to any mother that is suffering with aversion and needs some assistance.